Is it disrespectful….
Is it disrespectful to tell someone that you are attracted to them, when you know they are in a relationship?
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I’ll put it this way, i don’t want anyone letting my significant other no that they are attracted to them.
I believe that if you know you are attracted to someone in a relationship, keep it to yourself. Flattery is cute but it comes with a pandoras box. Attractions are not disrepectful it is human but, if they are involved you are disrepecting that persons significant other and yourself. Reprecussions are not what you may want. Consider this,are you ready for what happens from it?
Yes,I’ll play devil’s advocate; I feel that if you are attracted to someone you should be honest and therefore leave it up to the person that you’re telling to handle their business accordingly; if they pursue it that meant that the relationship that they were in probably wasn’t strong anyway. On the contrary, telling is completely different then action; if the person that’s attracted to someone who is in relationship they shouldn’t pursue it…their part is done. Leave it up to the other person.
I think its being “messy” because you KNOW the person is not available and that to act on any desires would cause drama in both parties lives. I believe you should keep your thoughts to yourself.
It all depends on the intent of the person who has the attraction. What’s her intent, to sway or just attracted to? If it’s to cause problems, then she’s setting up for a beat down, lol!
can you say - I AM INSECURE. if you are not secure enough in your(self) relationship to allow your mate to have friends, attracted to them or not, even build a friendship then YOU ARE INSECURE (your relationship isn’t what you think it is), and I don’t trust my significant other. come on lets get a grip, people are going to be attracted to other people (in a relationship) you can’t stop everyone in the world from being attracted to your woman. WORDS are just that - WORDS. “ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS”. your mate is the one that will make the decision on what to do. if she opts TO pursue something other than a friendship then - STEP UP YOUR GAME, if she opts NOT TO pursue anything other than a friendship then - STEP UP YOUR GAME, either way the situation is always going to be out there - and there is nothing you can do about it. what beat down everyone that looks her way - you’ll lose one of those bouts if not the first one LOL. i have been on both sides of the fence, its not that bad, but I AM NOT INSECURE. HOLLA.
I think it may be disrespectful to not only the friend, but also the friends significant other..The friend may also feel that any advice given on any relationship issues the two of you have discussed may have been a bit one sided. She may also feel betrayed at the fact that she has probably been very vulnerable around you, and while she had one thing in mind….you had another. The friendship may go sour, or the friend may begin to feel a little awkward around you, putting tension on the friendship. (And this is if the feelings are not reciprocated. If they so happen to be reciprocated, that would be a new topic) but with all of that being said, this is why once I develop a friendship with a woman that starts out as platonic…it remains that way.
Yes. its disrespectful. Unless the other person has made it clear that she is interested in you. That opens up the bag to other things. be prepared.
I think it can be disrespectful if it told in a way that is intended for something else to happen. If someone wants to tell my fiance they are attracted to her, and they know she is with me. I don’t have a problem with it. Now if they push further then I have an issue. I am confident that she isn’t going to do anything past accept the compliment. I appreciate it when someone else finds my fiance just as attractive as I do. There are limits on everything.
Well this is how I feel… If you know that she is with someone I see no need to tell her that there is an attraction. The way I see it is if you are attracted to someone and you tell them, you are telling them for one reason and one reason only….(YOU WANT THEM)
Knowing that you cant have them… Regardless of the status in the current relationship* Good or Bad*, that has nothing do with it. Just because they are having problems, does not mean oh let me put myself in the pocket. Whats the point in telling her if you are not looking for anything to go on to come out of it. I just seems to me to be a way to cause more hurt that happiness. So disrespectful…YES I would say so
Shoot go find ur own girl, all the attractive women are not taken… Get your own!!!
I say if you can take my girl you can have my girl. I am a person who deals on intent. If you just felt like telling my lady she is attractive, do you. BUT, if you are trying to invite her to “kick it up a notch” we have a problem. It’s cute that you wanna try your luck but I feel as though if I do not disrespect myself you do not have license to do so. This is whether you’ve been crushing on my girl for ten minutes or ten years. Respect the boundaries that are in line when someone is in a relationship. If you are a decent person you will be mindful of what you say and do when you interact with someone who is taken. ESPECIALLY, in the LGBTQ community where a long glance could mean a serious fight.
It’s okay to tell someone that you think that they are an attractive person but when you connect yourself to that person.. saying that you “find them attractive” or “you are attracted to them”. That crosses the line and it becomes disrespectful. It’s a thin line.
In my opinion it’s very disrespectful. I mean what’s the point if the individual is in a relationship? Telling them your attracted 2 them means you intend 4 it 2 go further if possible; otherwise why say anything at all? It’s not like your just telling them u think they’re attractive, there’s nothing wrong with that, because you’re just paying them a compliment. But 2 say your attracted 2 them implies more. And I’ll say it again is very disrespectful…….just my 2 cents.
I feel it very disrespectful to communicate an attraction to someone when you know their in a a relationship. the only reason you’d express such sentiment is if you want to get with them.
do you think its wrong if the person in the relationship expresses that they too are attracted to the other person but says they can’t make a move because their in a relationship?
wow, i see someone else is out there using kc so i will have to change just in case the other person says things and people who knows me dont’thing its me. now for the topic, yes i agree with alot of you why would u tell the person u are attracted to me and your’re not trying to take it futher. i think u are open up a can or worms. now if your woman takes it in another way then u need to look at them and your relationship cause if they cared they wouldn’t even take no other but a compliment.
All good postings; however, only one mentioned timing. If the time selected to tell your friend you find them attractive is at a moment when you know things troubling in their relationship, this may be a selfish strategic tactic. On the other hand, it depends on who means what to whom. For example, if we are talking about some random stranger offering a compliment in the club or a person who the couple knows but they are not very close to, well these situations present little real threat to the individual or to the couple because these moments are fleeting and are therefore less important in the grand scheme of things. If we are talking about a person who is close to the couple, then we are talking about an all together very different issue.
If you are very close to a person who is in a relationship and you have found yourself to be attracted to her, to make these feelings known can result in a number of outcomes, so instead of just “doing you” and letting it all out, consider what your confession will do to her, her partner and your friendship.
I’ll say it again: If we are talking about random strangers or distant affiliates telling our significant other that they find her attractive, who really cares. If we are talking about “road dogs”, “homies” and close friends who know the most about us, friends who spend a lot of time in our homes, etc. then we are talking about a completely different scenario that should be handled differently. The difference should be to respect the boundaries of friendship, protect the friendship or if you can not deal with your feelings remove yourself until you get your own conflicting feelings under control.
You should not place your friends that you (supposedly) care about in a position to have to deal with your subjective feelings towards her; that may undermine friendship. Once the friendship has been compromised, it is usually nearly impossible to recover. So, one must ask themselves what holds the most importance: selfishly letting my inappropriate feelings be known, dealing with the feelings on my own because the friendship is very important or leave the friendship because my feelings are growing stronger and she has a lover. All difficult choices but less difficult in relationship to the degree of maturity used to decide what choice will be the most appropriate.
For me it simply goes back to do unto others as you would want them to do unto you. If you know you wouldn’t like it if another woman approached you lady with that…then it’s likely that others wouldn’t except it either. it’s easy for me to say I wouldn’t give a damn because I am that “confident”…but because we know most of the time flattery has an intent behind it…it would not be cool. compliments are ok…but don’t disrespect another woman in telling her mate that you are attracted to her…and I’ll leave with, KARMA is a bitch! peace ladies
I think its a little disrespectful if you know that person is in a relationship…You should think if the shoe was on the other foot..Knowing that other people might be attracted to you is one thing..Acting on it is a whole different ball game..Ladies what goes around comes right back to ya..
wow!!!!! Basic that was long but so true and you had good points
I don’t think it is disrespectful to let someone know that you are attracted to them if they are in a relationship. Like many of you said it is up to that person to pursue it or not. All women like to be flattered with compliments every now and then. If your partner takes it as just that then there shouldn’t be any problems or repercussions. Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean that someone will not be attracted to you or your partner. As an attractive woman it feels good to know that you still have it…..LOL
It’s cold disrespect, and you better be ready for the consequences if you try that bullshit with the right one.
First of all you asked yourself what would be your purpose of telling another human being you are attractive to them, unless you just have a motive. Or if your intentions are sincere and just as a compliment than that is something different. I personally have told someone they were attractive but out the respect of them being with someone else I totally respect that, but now that I am in a relationship and folks told me that I take it as a compliment. At my ageit feels good to know that I am still attractive. Don’t need to be told, but it does feel GOOD!
I believe that disrespect is all in how something is done.
I think you should respect people the way you want to be respected.
Being complemented (in that nature) is one of the best a woman can receive… Why shouldn’t she get it???? Because she’s hanging out with you…
Finding out that others think “How you get down” is a wonderful feeling….. Especially when you’re not feeling strong or on top of there game (sort of speak) … So yeah, tell her, but tell her in a way that is complementary and not pushing up on her…
Example… Hello Beautiful, I notice you from time to time and I must say “I really like how you do the damm thing. Your girl is one very lucky lady…
Then step off… No eye contact from across the room or through the crowd … Sh!t, if you think you have a chance… buy her and her girl a drink… at least give the woman a drink as a consolation price… Just kidding…. anyway
You see… there are ways to keep our sistah’s feeling like the Nubian Queens along with keeping them abreast that they have options “with out disrespecting their partners”… Every one wins ; - )
I agree with KI 100%…. If someone chooses to tell you or your Lady that knowing you are in a relationship… then YES they want more than a friendship… So please keep your comment to yourself. It’s not a matter of being jealous or insecure…. It’s a matter of respect.
YES! I believe that would be disrectful. There is nothing wrong with a compliment/comment if one thinks another is ATTRACTIVE and posed the compliment/comment that way; however, to say one is attracted to another who is already in a relationship would be disrespectful. I am married and would feel disrespected if someone were to tell my wife or myself that they were attracted to either one of us.
Yeah it’s disrespectful. I agree with the last comment.
The question is….How would it make you feel if the comment was directed towards your or you partner?
If you would feel disrespected, then do not make the comment towards anyone else.
When you find yourself caught in situations like this , either bite your tounge or speak your mind.
I don’t feel its disrespectful.
It only becomes disrespectful when the person the comment is directed at responds or acts on it in a lustful way.
I am attracted to a lot of people, mentally, sexually…hell I just like women but doesn’t mean I actually WANT them…and yes, I’ll tell them and sometimes in front of their partner, I have been known to tell the girlfriend of the person I think is attractive “Your wife is sexy” but I have no intentions of breaking up anyone’s happy (or unhappy) home.
I have been traumatized by an aggressive femme, LOL! I told her she was sexy and if she didn’t have a girlfriend she might’ve been able to convince me to date femmes… she went to a place I never wanted to go. The cool part was that her “wife” thought the whole ordeal was funny even though I have officially been mentally and sexually scarred for life, lol!
Naw, no matter how anyone wants to flower it up, you’re simply seed planting, particularly if you know that the relationship is on the rocks. Tell the person, don’t make any moves, just go about being friendly and normal and wait and see what happens….works every time…..
Thats a serious thought provoking ? But 2B honest- Hell yeah it’s disrespectful. At nooo time is that cool, because it’s like u r sayn f what i got at home and I’m not cool with people that do that. Why cant individuals have that swagger and that confidence with someone who dont have a partner.. Thats telling me that that person is all out for self, and sometimes lonely people do that, have you noticed that correlation?
I DID THAT AND I PROMISE I WILL NEVER EVER TO THAT AGAIN, I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW I SURVIVED, DON’T DO IT. Just keep quiet, the feelings will pass, like a normal bowl movement, because I was full of sh_t, when I did it.
This is a good one. Although,I feel that you should never keep things bottled up inside when it comes to something of that nature but….some things you have to keep to yourself. I will agree with SHE when she said “the feelings will soon pass”.
When it does go it will leave you standing with egg on your face b/c you put yourself out there for someone who was simply only LUSTING in the moment and not TRULY taking your feeling in account at all.
So where do you go from there? Back to square one! I think that there is a TIME and a PLACE for everything and if it was meant to be than time will tell and you will have your chance to glorify in that moment.
Until then protect whats meant to be cherished and not given (your heart), save some time, patience and sanity and press on…..tomorrow will come!
Actions speak louder than words. In my opinion, if your attracted to someone, verbalizing it is not disrespectful, but knowingly acting upon it is.
No, because it shouldn’t be always be taken as something sexual. It has been times when I say a woman is attractive and not wanted something sexual out of her. I like to complement a woman if she is keeping herself up physically. There is nothing with saying “you look nice today”.
WELL THIS HAVE HAPPEN TO WHERE ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND WAS TOGETHER AND A GIRL TOLD MY GF OVER AND OVER SHE WAS CUTE AND SHE WOULD DATE ER IF SHE HAD THE CHANCE ETC AND MY GIRLFRIEND WENT ALONG WITH IT AND CHEATED ON ME AND OF COURSE I THOUGHT IT WAS DISRESPECTFUL THAT SHE WOULD EVEN DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT HER AND THE GIRL JUST LOOKED AT IT AS A MISTAKE AND THE GIRL EVEN FELL IN LOVE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND BUT WHEN IT WAS ALL SAID AND DONE MY GF IS STILL HERE WITH ME AN DSHE HAVENT TRIED ME AGAIN