Would you feel some….
Would you feel some kind of way if you girlfriend was really close with her ex?
About
welcome 2 our block! the purpose of this site is 2 share our opinion on anything that is going on around the block. Understand that the block isn’t just the street we live on…it’s the entire community around us and these days with the internet and media, that could mean anywhere around the globe…better yet , let’s just open it up completely and say the block is the entire galaxy. The block also means whatever is spinning around in our heads…we have some pretty big “block” heads, so there’s no telling what might be going on inside them.
- Events
- No events.
Main Menu
Archives
Categories
- Dating (9)
- Events (25)
- Messing Up (5)
- Political (2)
- What… (14)
- Would you… (4)
- Your Block (61)
Misc
I would feel a little uneasy if that situation was to arise because you can never be too secure when it does happen. The thing is if that’s your ex they’re your ex for a reason so why would it be closeness. If the relationship is broken off then that is what it is supposed to be. Anytime they say where just going to be friends it is like giving them leeway to doing something they should not be doing. If they are going to be close then they might as well be together. When you allow for something like that to happpen then you are just setting yourself up for something to happen that you may neot like. It is important for you to find out if there is a situation like that is occuring before you start getting involved.
I have been waiting for this topic to come up. Thanks for bringing it. My woman is close friends will all her exes. And, yes, I have serious issues with it. I guess I wouldn’t have as much of a problem with it she wasn’t running back and discussing our problems with them. I almost think that’s where she would rather be. I think that if they are an ex, they are an ex for a reason and they should stay that way. I’m not trying to pick and choose her friends for her, however, I’m a private person and the last thing I need is for her exes to be aware of each and every issue we might have. She doesn’t see it that way and just doesn’t understand. It is a very volatile subject in our relationship. I don’t keep my exes around and don’t really see why she needs to, but, I’m not her. I guess one day, I’ll be an ex, but trust and believe, she WILL NOT be a close friend. It just causes too much friction in current relationships. I’m really curious to see what others think about it.
Wow…
I am friends with two of my ex’s and it is straigt up just a friendship. We’ve even partied together with our partners along. I have always felt that if she was good enough to be in my life as a partner then she has to be a good person after the fact. Now mind you I havent said all broken relationships should or can end up this way because, its a few that I cannot stand and would perfer to not even be in the same room with and with one of the two it took a good year before we sat down and talked about our reasons for the breakup and how we felt with losing our friendship. Now this isnt for everyone and your partner has to be a secure, strong individual, trust plays a big part. But, one time around is anough. Thers no need to backtrack.
i am currently single, so some of my comments my sound a little to the left.
1. what difference does it make if your partner is close friends with an ex. if she counts someone as a friend you should appreciate that person for being a fried to your partner.
2. where they friends before you all started your relationship? if yes, guess what? they will be there after the relationship is over. if no, that means they were able to work through their problems and move past them, and that is a good thing.
3. when you have a problem with your partner being friends with an ex, that means that you dont trust your partner. even if the ex is trying to get back together with your partner, that does not mean that your partner wants to do the same thing.
4. an ex is an ex for a reason, but that does not mean that they cant be friends. who cares what the reason may be, stop trying to dictate who is in your partners life.
5. if you have a healthy relationship, you will find things will work out even better if you let this issue drop. and that does not mean you TELL your partner that it is okay, but your body language says the exact opposite.
i’m glad someone asked because that’s what i’m going thru now. my girl is now speaking to her ex again. i feel weird with it because they were with each other for four years, so they have a bond. the ex is only back because she wants her back. you know how women try to test the limits, so my girl will tell me how her ex wants to work it out and asking her would she hug her or kiss her in the mouth if she saw her at the club.i got mad one day because me and my girl have a set thing that we do when i cook breakfast we sit together and watch t.v. and talk, on this day she was on the phone with her and didn’t get off the phone. so i took my plate and went upstairs you think she would have gotten off then! no she continued to talk to this chick askings her when she was going to by her earrings, so walked downstairs and took the phone and hung it up.my girl claims that she was about to get off(lies)and she thought that i just wanted to eat upstairs that day (bullcrap)whewwwww, sorry i had to get off my cheast. i DON”T LIKE IT AT ALL!!! my gut is not feeling it. thanks for letting me share
The ex thing is always an issue for women isn’t it? I’ve been on both sides of the fence with this topic. I was married to a woman with several ex’s. The ex’s were always a problem! There was often more then not manipulation, secrecy and deceit surrounding them. Excuses abound for the behaviors… ranging from ‘they’re my friend and they just needed my help… to ‘you’re the problem, you’re just jealous!’ I’m sure many of us have heard these things…right? What’s a woman to do? Throughout the many years of that relationship the ex’s continued to be an issue. This was always the one area to immediately send an otherwise pleasant evening into a downward spiral.
So now many years later and I’m now the one with the ex’s, I am forced to reflect on my experience. What I’ve come to believe is that yes it is possible to still have your ex’s in your life in a HEALTHY way without the shady behavior. There are several key elements that make this work. What it requires is absolute honesty, first with you. Meaning, what is your true intentions and feelings about the ex? Secondly, what are your feelings about the current love interest? Does it really matter to you how your connection with your ex’s affected them? Are you willing to empathize with them? Third, are you willing and capable of setting the boundaries of the relationship with the ex?
That’s probably the most difficult of all, right? There are sometimes spoken and unspoken messages, privileges and assumptions passed between ex’s all within a single moment. Right? These are the things that totally freak out the current loves. Are you willing to keep that stuff in check? Integrity is critical! I did not say anything about the ex’s behavior and willingness to behave or cooperate. You’ll have to determine if they are capable of handling your boundaries. Bottom line I think the responsibility still falls on you! We all heard the phrase, ‘you only have control over your own life…’ However you can influence others, but the real deal is it’s up to you to decide how you are going to carry it. Everyone else is forced to fall into place once you make up your mind! And if they don’t… well then this was all a bunch of bullshit and you can come up with your own theory!!!
This was a problem in my last relationship. I do believe that you can have a “healthy” relationship with an ex. However, I also believe there should be boundaries. Like P, my ex was friends with all (and I do mean all) of her exes. It got to a point where I had to say “I didn’t want to hear about them anymore.” Every other conversation was my “ex” this and my “ex” that. And by the way girls, people you sleep with for 30 days do NOT qualify as an ex.
I call these folks “people collectors.” Also, like P’s partner, she also shared information about our relationship and constantly solicits them for advice about her life decisions and refused to understand my issue with it. Being an ex I care about anyone I have been with, however, I think if I really cared about someone, I would give them the opportunity to move on and be happy. That means our relationship must change and have boundaries. Women who hold on to exes are selfish. It makes a difficult situation for the current partner when the exes are an integral part of the relationship. Relationships are difficult enough without unnecessary drama. Release these people — they have moved on - try it. Use the energy on your current relationship. (Guess that’s one reason I’m an ex.)
I am currently in a relationship with someone who purchased a home, dog, and who raised “who’s now a man” during a period of 14 years.
She dialogues not only with her, but the one just before me. She considers them close friends.
All I have to say is… I trust that she is faithful to me… and that no one can take her from me, I can only fall off my game and lose her in the game, not to someone.
I also know I can still be with 4 out of the 5 women I’ve had relationships with~~~> to this very day.
But I chose to be only with her.
I also chose not to be in contact with them, because they won’t address me platonically, and you have to respect my woman to be my friend.
So, I don’t really care who she is in contact with, as long as it’s upfront and they respect me.
I am new to this lifestyle and i love it, but i do have issues with my girlfriend of 2 years have a relatonship with her ex. I like to think that i could be ok with it, but I am not. I express my feelings all the time so she knows how I feel about it. I used to think that I was wrong for feeling that way, but soon came to realIize was not wrong at all. I don’t have any female ex’s so just don’t get it. I know if we break up we will not be friends
I feel you on that Kim, I don’t understand my girl always saying that her ex is her best friend, then what am I?, “chopped liver” I also agree with you saying about if her and I broke up, we will not be friends. For me, its just awkward, and will be just holding on to the past. So many of us get stuck on things that has happened that we forget of all the possibilities that Can happen.
Um, they’re fucking, believe it.
My ‘Ride or Die’ homie for real, best friend is my previous girlfriend. And I’ll love her if she is with someone or without. So all ladies that date her needs to know that. Ladies come and go, some stay for a while but true friends last forever. Now, I told my last ex that my best friend was my soul mate and she is. No other can take her place. No matter who I am with all the ladies and female gents know what place she has in my heart. Now, some would say I am still in love with her romantically. Nope, l’m not. I just love to wonderfully brillant person she is and I am blessed to have her in my life. She my family and I will always love her, she bring hope, breath and life to my soul. **gush**gush** But back to the question at hand…I think it maybe difficult for and insecure female to understand that (and we all have insecurities) but who ever or whomever, I am with have to understand my relationship with my BFF!
Peace and Love,
SyrCal